‘Sell it to me’ Rule

‘Sell it to me’ Rule

It’s not dodgy, I promise. The idea behind this rule is to encourage your older child to problem solve, think outside the square and practice clear, respectful communication. 

Autistic children are brilliant at coming up with ‘out of the box’ perspectives, as are children with ADHD – we adults can learn a thing or two off them, so keep your ears on the ready for great solutions that you would never have dreamed of!

Sell It To Me Steps: 

  1. Your older child has just asked you to do something that you don’t think is the greatest idea.
  2. Tell your child respectfully (no tone or ranting – just facts) your reasons you don’t think it is a good idea. You could even sit down and write these down together.
  3. Ask your child to go and think about the situation, ways to solve any obstacles etc. Give a time limit for when you want to hear back from them such as by tomorrow night after dinner.
  4. Regroup and sit together and hear them out. Listen. Do not jump in, correct, ask questions, point out anything that appears wrong etc, just listen respectfully. Regroup and sit together and hear them out.
  5. Consider your child’s suggestions. Often they are super creative and do come up with plans or strategies you may never have thought of. Ensure you don’t automatically shut down your child’s ideas. Imagine that you came into a meeting at work with enthusiasm and what you thought were winning ideas only to have your boss crush them straight off the bat. Could you maybe give your child’s ideas a trial run? Could you possibly use some of their ideas with some of your boundaries? The idea is to work collaboratively to come up with solutions. You are on the same team, after all. Doing this with your children is a brilliant way to reduce the likelihood of teenage rebellion, lying and all those other significant behaviours we all hear so much about that fill us with dread! They won’t need to sneak around behind your back if they feel genuinely cared for, understood and valued.

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